Not disclosing your pregnancy to the world is one of the toughest things you may face after first learning you are pregnant— at least it was for me! Every woman and every couple has their own style and pace for announcing their pregnancy, as every pregnancy is as unique as the woman themselves. How and when you decide to share this deeply personal circumstance is entirely up to you.
Some women waste no time to announce and begin posting their weekly baby bump developments from early in their first trimester.
Some women wait until the very moment their initial blood work comes back and they are relieved of potential complications. This is fairly standard for pregnancy announcements: somewhere between 10-14 weeks. It is around this time that most women know the pregnancy is sticking, and they may be safe from miscarriage.
Long before I told anyone, I began taking photos of my belly, but just to share between my husband and myself.
I had also immediately thought of a dozen cute announcements, or sly hints to reveal through social media early in my first trimester, but I held back on every single one of them!
I was around 10 weeks when I decided to reveal to family and our closest friends that I was carrying a child. They were elated first, shocked second (and maybe even upset?), that I had waited so long to tell them, but the truth is, I wanted to protect our initial excitement from their worry and endless questions, and the heaping amounts of attention I knew I’d receive. I really just wanted my first trimester to be wrapped in a sacred cocoon of loving calm between my husband and I.
Plus, there’s nothing worst than being dragged down physically and emotionally with morning sickness, AND having your family lavish hyper-loving attention, anxiety, questions, fear, endless phone calls, over-planning, etc... I definitely wanted to wait until my nausea had subsided and my initial blood work came back in the clear.
Once our parents were notified, we began sharing the news with people we saw in person. One by one (or Halloween party to Friendsgiving), my man and I shared our news to the friends we saw at each gathering, allowing their excitement (and sometimes apprehension) to wash over their faces in front of us.
Telling people in person opened up the conversation to sharing all kinds of different birthing stories, both the good and the bad. Essentially, it allowed for human connection that is difficult—if not down right impossible— to receive online. People genuinely asked about my state of health and comfort, and wanted to hear the ups and downs of my first trimester.
One question I received over and over was about my diet— what could I eat and not eat? Did I have any cravings? Any aversions?
I’d never had so many people inquire about my physical health and personal changes in my body, and— I’m not going to lie— I loved it! After so many years of adulthood and bland politeness, people were finally digging into my nitty gritty personal life, and getting to know the real me!
So by the time we announced on social media at 21 weeks, many of our friends and family were already privy to the information, and to the rest it was a total surprise! The 3rd wave of congratulations were showered upon us with a photo of the baby bump to prove its really happening!
This opens up the second half of my pregnancy to unsolicited advice, prying inquiries into my physical state, many hands reaching out to pet my belly, and yes, hopefully, a bountiful baby shower!
Of course, I still know of several pregnant or post-partum women who kept their pregnancies off social media altogether, or at least until after the baby was born. These women are modern-day heroes for keeping a secret so long in this digital world. But of course it makes sense— not all pregnancies are easy and healthy, some are (sadly) unwanted, and many women just hate exposing private information to the world and being in the spotlight.
Pregnancy is a deeply personal affair, and maybe we shouldn’t be so quick to share the inner workings of our uterus with our public. However, pregnancy is also the most common and beautiful act of humanity in the world, and women have zero reason to feel ashamed, even if it isn’t a perfect pregnancy. We learn from each other’s experiences, and bringing a child into this world is an opportunity to make connections with any and every other mother across the globe. They talk about a Circle of Sisterhood, and motherhood is at the center of that circle— always inviting, nurturing, and nourishing.
So when should you announce your pregnancy on social media? It’s really up to you! It’s your body, and they’re your friends, so you make the judgment call on who gets to know when. There are no rules until you write them.
Congratulations, and good luck!